jmedvm

Ten Things I Am Learning From My New Cat Therapist

2011-04-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

Tori the Kitten That Could

Check out the article that I wrote for my friend Cheryl: "Ten Things I Am Learning From My New Cat Therapist" http://is.gd/8XdJuF . Cheryl's blog is entitled "My Cat Is My Therapist" and it is a must visit for all you cat lovers out there! It can be found at http://mycatismytherapist.com

Tori is a special needs kitty! She arrived for me to "foster" on Thanksgiving Day. She came for the meal and stayed for life! She was brought into an Emergency Clinic for euthanasia. She had probably been hit by a car and her front left leg was completely paralyzed. She still has nerve damage and can not walk on it, but she uses it and zips around like any other nutty kitten. She is a joyful addition to our family, and I often wonder at the fact that she may not have been here anymore at all. The love and sweet moments we get from these precious rescued companions is one of the miracles of life. Adopt one today!

It has been quite awhile!

2010-08-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a year since I have blogged here. I have been through so much: I am divorced, moved, have bought a house twice, and am restarting my life. My daughter was very ill and my beloved Sparky died in my hospice care at 23 years of age. I am trying to keep my eyes on the horizon, and after getting through all this, I am able to focus again on the big picture. Yesterday I committed myself to run a half-marathon in January. I have been swimming again and feeling the best I can each day. I am watching my daughter growing through her own new challenges and working my way through terribly delightful relationship issues. Most of all, I am attempting to stay present; in the now. The joy of our lives is that we can, at any moment trade our perspective in and begin anew. Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, and after the recent oil spill, still the fine folks in New Orleans continue to persevere. Today, despite losses I still mourn, I embrace this life and strive to see the beauty that surrounds me in those around me and in the beautiful country I drive through. I am going to start my poetry blog and continue hospice4animals, and yes, even this inner landscape blog....to life, to new beginnings, and to all those who have the courage to pick themselves up and start again, one day at a time! xxxjme

Risking 1,2,3.....

2009-10-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

I saw this young boy tring to skateboard on the railing overlooking Mono Lake on my way to Yosemite to camp. I was on the way home from the Second International Symposium on Veterinary Hospice and Palliative Care. I was really on overload and looking forward to camping alone in the trees at 11,000 ft. I stopped and watched him, happy my Mommy-fear was not here because he was not my child. I wanted to capture the feeling I had at that moment. I wanted a picture of it to remember my feelings and all that had captured my heart. This was the best I could do with my iPhone at sunset!

At the moment I am feeling very tired and old, but wise-old. I am so grateful that each time I risk a great deal, overcome some fear, I seem to reap rewards proportional to the risk. I am getting divorced, trying to move out of the busy city of Phoenix up to the cool more cold and calm Flagstaff. It seemed impossible, but I have convinced my soon to be ex to move too. I think we need to share our daughter. I am feeling like I am this boy: I am trying and trying to do the right thing. I am trying so hard to do the job I am given: to advocate for animals. I am tring so hard to overcome my physical difficulties and live in the moment. To accept my limitations, yet take them with me to the next idea, the next article, the next action. Ignoring pain either emotional or physical just gave it permission to grow. Now I accept it. I hurt, yet I can still write. I try to take it slow and honor my problems instead of run away from them. They are, afterall, part of what has made me who I am. I have so much to do today. I must do some of it! But, I am aware of my limitations. It is almost in naming the worst thing it goes away! I think if there is such a thing as the devil, or pure evil it is not loud. It is that quiet pervasive voice that says to you: "You can't do THAT! They will LAUGH at you! Who do you think you are to presume they will respect you? You are going to fail!" It is called the Itty Bitty Sh***y Committee in 12 step parlance. A very wise man at the Hospice Symposium told me to tell them to "take a number, come back later, how about an appointment in 2 hours?". I have been doing that and they do not show up at the appointed hour! I can not see the road ahead, but I feel the right path at every moment if I will just listen. I know what I am supossed to do and I think I am nuts for risking so much each time I do. And...each time I risk It is testing new waters, and I am getting deeper and deeper into my dreams! If I just keep trying to risk, and GO FOR IT and ignore the aforementioned IBSC then I am really rewarded with progress towards my dreams. I do not mean to sound egocentrical in any way, because the more I accomplish, the more good that comes from my committment to the GOOD, the LESS it is me at all. It is me resonating a tiny bit , for just a moment, hanging there near perfection before my imperfect mind intervenes. Like the boy who showed me it was OK to take a leap, and do it over and over until you get it right, risk or no risk..Oh, yeah, and it is so much more FUN to take the leap.......I think I will keep trying it...Risking 1,2,3.......

The Vet Hospice Symposium is causing me to continue to change my life

2009-09-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am at the Second International Veterinary Hospice Symposium at UC Davis's College of Veterinary Medicine. Just like last year, this Symposium is again causing me to change my life. I am completely taken over by the idea that our pets are sentient, feeling, soulful creatures that we are responsible for. When an animal looks into my eyes, I DO know what they want, what they are asking of me. I never really admitted that when I was a practicing Veterinarian. Now that look, those eyes are the reason I must write and help Veterinarians and concerned pet "owners" to accept the death of their pets and participate in the process through Animal Hospice. Finally, here at the Symposium, are some good journalists, this will be on the radar now. I am no journalist, and am struggling to write and express myself. I am driven, however, to try to get Vets and other caregivers, and pet owners to know about Veterinary Hospice. Something about this subject, this idea is all encompassing and life changing. Sharen Myers LCSW gave an amazing talk, and meeting her, I saw my new passion mirrored in her eyes. She has worked in human hospice for many years and is starting Synergy a Pet Hospice in Oregon. She quoted Cicely Saunders a Hospice pioneer who said "I did not find Hospice, Hospice found me". She also said about Hospice that "It took me 19 years to build a house around a window." Hospice has caused me to rethink first, my own life, my ideas about life itself, and then infused me with a burning desire to tell other people what the animals want.
I thought, because of my health issues, I had to be at home. Dr. Kathryn Maracchino told me last year to "work to your abilities, not your disabilities". I came to the first Hospice Symposium. Since then I have driven 5000 miles each summer with my daughter to help people in New Orleans, and to just have an adventure with her. I think that has changed both our lives. This lisence to GO that I got from Kathryn in one instant absolutely changed my life. That First Symposium then changed my views of life itself. This Second Symposium contimues to alter my basic values and views for the better.

I have learned in our culture , especially in the USA, we AFRAID of death. Sharen Myers quoted Margaret Mead who said "When someone is born, we rejoice. When someone marries, we celebrate. When someone dies, we pretend nothing happened." Death IS the equal and opposite process of birth. If we want to live well, we need to die well and vice versa. We may try to ignore this for ourselves, but we are faced with death full force with our pets. We love them so much and they love us so purely. We are responsible for them, feed them and take care of them, but in reality they take care of us. I know there is an amazing spiritual, pure love connection with our animals. I know I am being loved when I look into a kitty like Zoomi's eyes. There is a message there, and now I am not afraid to admit that, and thrive in that knowledge. The Hospice Symposium has validated the path and the truth that I feel in my gut. I have found the courage to change my life from that knowledge. Something about dealing with the moment of death teaches us how to well live our lives. There is the very kernal of sacredness here, and the lesson is to experience it. The speakers here have taught me that THE most important thing is to BE PRESENT and open to the experience. This was presented about the dying process, but it has taught me about the living process. This is what I learn when I look into those eyes: love is here, in the moment, and I must learn to live with this love first and foremost in my every moment.

Gratitude for hospice4animals

2009-08-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am very grateful for the amazing events of the this last week. I would not normally put my picture here, but I want to smile at you if you stop by. I have begun to be an Editor for Veterinary Medicine at About.com specializing in Pet Loss and Grief, Euthanasia Issues, End of Life Care, and Veterinary Hospice. http://is.gd/2xHIz This is an extraordinary opportunity to reach a larger audience and help more people deal with the very tough decisions surrounding the end of life. I am also very grateful to all who wrote and are writing, about the article that follows "Why is it so hard when a pet dies?". It has touched a nerve or struck a chord depending on your perspective. I have been overwhelmed by the response and struck by their similairities. MANY people need better ways to grieve for their pets, and memorialize them. I do too. I think we need more Pet Chaplains to mediate a Memorial Service, perhaps a PetWake . We should light candles, honor our losses and then CELEBRATE the life of our pet. If you have a friend who has just lost a pet, offer to coordinate a small PetWake. Animals present, we gather to honor the life of the pet. We tell funny stories, share music, say some special prayers, and then all pledge out loud how we are going to help animals by volunteering in the name and honor our fur friend. Or how about a National Pet Remembrance Day? I am also grateful for the BEST summary on Veterinary Hospice by Rochelle Lesser at Land of Pure Gold a Canine Cancer Foundation http://is.gd/2yfBF. Lastly I am grateful for the Second International Symposium on Veterinary Hospice and Palliative Care September 4-7 at the UCDavis College of Veterinary Medicine. You heard it here first: I will BLOG live here, TWEET live www.twitter.com/hospice4animals, and REPORT at About.com (above). Check here for great ideas and info as well as the Animal Remembrance Ceremony, holistic approaches to Hospice, and much more. In Gratitude for the Anipals, xxxjmedvm

Stand By Me.

2009-05-05T01:52:00.005-07:00

An AMAZING song made around the world:
playingforchange.com made this extraordinary collaboration of Stand By Me:
http://tinyurl.com/playingforchange-stand-by-me
an amazing effort street musicians,choruses,for Peace
(Hello Grampa Elliott I Love You!)from South Africa to New Orleans by way of Congo and Northern Ireland
this song will cut to the quick:slash through nationalistic/racial/sexual identities to that which is universal. This song speaks to our commonalities,not our differences. More songs can be found at www.playingforchange.com and will be released this month on cd. I felt an actual tear well up (I have met some of these street musicians from New Orleans)it will leave you wanting to work for Peace on our small green planet. The differences between us seem so much smaller then the best of our humanity;the love we can share through such beautiful music. L'chaim! Stand By Me!

Finding Meaning in Mortality (thank you Daddy)

2009-04-09T18:34:00.007-07:00

There is something about being with my Dad and thinking about geological time that has made my mortality real to me. I suppose this is not very profound, nor unusual. My Dad will be 75 in May. He visited for my daughter's tenth birthday. I am having a hysterectomy in the end of this month and have a not insignificant chance of endometrial cancer. Attempts to biopsy my uterus non surgically were unsuccessful, so a diagnosis will be made intraoperatively. Somehow, all these circumstances have given me an out-of-mind experience.

OK, I can not really have an out-of-mind experience, rather I am thinking from the third person, observing my life from as much of a distance that is possible from inside my own head.

My Dad travels the world, and frequently goes to China for his Medicine In Public Health Initiative. I have always admired my father, and been afraid of him; afraid to stand up to him. Now, for the most part I can defend my ideas and viewpoint matter of factly when it differs from his. In the last few years I have grown to like him from up close; instead of just admiring him from afar. All of the admiration, though has not stopped me from seeing the less functional parts of my personality reflected back at me from him.

It recently seems as though I am walking around acutely aware of what I do not find healthy in my relationships. I have worked very hard to trace the lineage of my specific behavior patterns. I hope I am truly working even harder to change them. This hyper-awareness and classification does not tend to foster good relationships. It is an odd irony that dissecting my dysfunction and naming it gives a strange objective awareness of interactions even as they happen. I considered it some kind of victory to actually HEAR what I sound like. Oh. THAT bad thing is just what Mommy does! Oh, I sound just like Daddy! For some reason, not everyone else is just as interested to hear me name the negative behavior I have just understood, even as I take my part in it. This is especially true for my parents. I do not per se BLAME them for my behavior, I just see where some of it comes from. Now that I am a parent, this has been af high importance to me.

I can be a really negative critic. I have not only traced this behavior, tones and gesticulations included, but also have seen it played word for word, nuance by nuance by my daughter. Now that I have diagnosed it, it is time for the treatment. Like most medications, there can be a bad aftertaste. I know I will not live forever, but tasting my mortality, seeing it and accepting it, has made my behavioral redo much more of a priority. Now the difficult task has become to stop those words, change that tone and control myself BEFORE the words come out of my mouth, before my eyes roll heavenward, before that sigh escapes my lips.

I stand with one foot in Benevolent, Understanding, Unconditional Motherland, and the other in Mother You Know What Land. In a raft rushing down the B*%$ River I try to desperately steer my way to the Loving shore. I am so close. I am sure that this struggle will continue for the rest of my life, however long that is.

Which brings me to the point of the discussion. I have already lived over half my life . At fifty-one the probability of living fifty-one more years is infinitesimal. Even if I do live over ninety like both my grandmothers, it is only forty-some years more. Looking and listening to my Dad, I am suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude. Imperfect as he is, inherited outlook and all, I love him dearly. I love the parts of me that came from him, observed as well as unknown. I can see all of this unfolding before my eyes in my daughter. As I turn from his puns, to the quick older-then-ten understanding in my daughter, I can share in their laughter. The kind of jokes, the same ironic sense of humor, and lightening quick cognition is in all three of us, is in our giggles. I have been concentrating on righting my wrongs so much that I have stopped appreciating the already-good. I have learned something, and I have passed my Daddy's best to my daughter.

I have been thinking and examining my rationale for my life, what the God of my understanding expects me to do with it. I am trying to understand how He or She wants me to invest this precious capital minute by minute. Faced with death, confronted with this mortality, I am still expected to keep on going day by sweet day. The immortality, then of my family must be just this. The way my Dad turns and glances to see if we have caught that last funny remark, caught that sly astute observation, and breaks into a huge grin despite himself, lives on, reflected back at him in my daughter's twinkling eyes. I was listening to their detailed imaginary world game, and suddenly I felt an extreme deja-vu descending. I had a whole world of people we gossiped about when I was her age. The world that our imaginary friends inhabited was quite detailed. Forty years later, it sounds just as entertaining. I see myself relaxing and letting go.

Whatever it is: fifteen hours or fifteen years, my job is to love and enjoy. My catalogue of the unacceptable was long and detailed. It is time to reward all the good I have received with the highest compliment; emulation. I will strive to accept everyone around me as they are right now. I will thank both my parents by being the best they gave me to work with. I will temper the negative to the best of my ability, and strive to stop this endless rehashing of my bad behaviors. I will enjoy all these moments of clarity, and I will try to put them to good use. I will behave as the best I can expect to receive in this world. I will always endeavor to treat all those I come in contact with, ESPECIALLY my family, with all the love I can muster. At the end of the day I will look back, not to punish myself, but merely to learn for tomorrow, and then let it go. I will try to be the best of my relatives, TO my relatives, every day. I will honor my Dad, and show my appreciation of him by being the best HE showed ME. I only have this life, as far as I know for sure, right now. I can pray and meditate and reach the God of my understanding only now;not yesterday,and not in tomorrow. So, I will try to stay in now and live in now, and love in now. Thank you Daddy!

My name is Sparky

2009-03-24T00:43:00.021-07:00

My name is Sparky. Last week I was 22 years young. I have a few things that I would like to say if you would please give an old man-cat a moment. Please keep me warm and comfortable. Sometimes I get restless because it is hard to get comfortable. I would like a few places where I can get under a blanket or lie in the sun.Do not be upset if I get cancer or something. It was nothing you did. It was because you took such good care of me. I got an old age disease! If you think I am very painful please help me. I can go to the-sacred-before-and-after moment by moment. I may seem slow and dazed. I am really meditating, it helps me. I will spend more and more time there until I have to go. I will hum my mantra. Sometimes I do not eat or drink very much. If you think I am hurting too much I trust you to do what is best for me. Try to find me a Veterinarian who practices Hospice care for pets. If you want to speed up my journey, I trust you. If you do not feel it is your right to end my life, that is ok too. Thank you for loving me and taking care of me. I will love you. My spirit will be with you. Some of me will stay with you forever.

Hello iPhone Bye Bye Moto

2009-02-27T23:47:00.004-07:00

"i used to think i was married to my iphone,now i know it is my religion"

After 1 week without my iPhone waiting for replacement #6 in less then 2 yrs Apple made good by sending a new 16 GB 3G. I felt so helpless without my iPhone. I never realized how many times a day I would Google something of interest, check the NY Times, email, blog, or note new ideas I remembered for my book. Having returned to a Moto Razr I did not even remember how to turn it on and gave up on anything except texting. Forget the bogus www imitation. I did not realize how much my daily life has changed since I began to use the iPhone. (the only good things I can say about the Razr is that it was fun to send pictures with the texts (can only email pics on iPhone, what's up with that?) and it was small and cute. But cute don't cut it no more next to the sleek and powerful. I look forward to seeing if the GPS apps that record altitude change, distance and speed of a walk/run are accurate. I appreciate faster 3G speed but I have always thought the Edge network not half bad. It will probably be like a raise: you always seem to need the extra money. I will get used to the faster up and download times. I may be nuts (really?) but the sound sounds better. Maybe that's the new Vibe Duo earphones may be improved over the old pair I lost. I love them. I am in seventh heaven with the double memory: LOTS more music, podcasts, books and 3 movies!!! I used to think I was married to my iPhone but now I know it's my religion. ;-) @bsaunders, (you should hear my Yoga playlist!). OK time for bed...White Noise App is better then Ambien for this insomniac! Thank you Apple I am home (on Twitter) again. Bye Bye Moto, HHHEELLLOOOO iPhone!

On a Birthday

2009-02-26T14:40:00.003-07:00

i have had another birthday. Suffice it to say that if i am wise beyond my years, i am very, very smart. i have learned that no matter what your denominational brand , the point is the same. to keep going. i think what i have learned from my own deity, sprituality, purpose is to keep going. And, i do not mean to keep trudging along. i mean to keep going, towards with purpose. to keep that direction with a song in your heart. a lot of stuff has been thrown into my path. i was at one point really angry, really depressed. a business gone, health gone, athleticism, gone, a following, lots of love gone. my semming importance to a lot of people every day gone. what mattered is to keep going. eventually sometimes the why and the wherefore may emerge, or not. you may be justified, or not. it may be fair, or not. i was judged harshly, i was seen as a blessing. i was seen as a bad person, even as i struggled to right wrongs. bad stuff happened, and i am happy to say now that i am glad. i am glad that i can tell the stories and laugh at myself. i can choose my path wihout rancor. anger does not serve me anymore. the hardest thing has been to give up caring that i am right. the fact that i can now most times, not care, is proof to me beyond a doubt that god exists. to have this wonderful paradox of being so individual, this wonderful ego that drives us to accomplish what we can, and at the same time to accept that we are just one, and we need to be happy to keep going even when it is so tough, and feel blessed to be here, is the gift. i am sure that getting old, or curing the soul resides in accepting the central paradox of our lives, and for me still being happy to feel the sun is what my job is, after all. to keep going, and to sing along the way. the astonishment is so much more fun then the anger was.

the night is long tonight

2009-01-25T01:20:00.005-07:00

the night is long tonight
yet is beautiful tonight
today smelled good
after the rain and
i learned a lot about
the press today
supposed liberal bastian
yet oddly seems to me
mostly mighty righties
with their blurred
transecting religion
and their stand on many
opnionated subjects that
strive to convert
and convince
my god is fair
my god is loving
s(he) would never
judge me unless
i decided myself
to blur the intersection
myself between god
and myself because
i know it is
not my job to
judge only gods
and not my place
in this universe
to name call
or point my
finger to
blame or name
the transgressor
and call myself
her (or his) follower
and so now
Our President is
african american
and his brilliant wife
is judged only
on which dress
she chose to
wear to her
husbands address
and her beautiful
girls sit smiling
by paradigm of
precious children
everywhere and
i do turn to
prayer yet
not know if
s(h)e is listening
now in this
beautiful clear
long night
which streaches
ahead of me
the night is long

tonight

You are responsible

2009-01-22T14:18:00.002-07:00

Positiv_Thinkr from Twitter today sent this wonderful quote:

"Work while you have the light.
You are responsible for the talent
That has been entrusted to you"
Henri Frederic Amiel

It is wonderful the daily quotes Positiv_Thinkr
finds every day and posts on Twitter,all of them
fitting into 140 characters!

My name is Jaime and I am addicted to Twitter. (No disrespect to 12 step
programs intended, I am an addict and my life has been changed, enlightened, and
empowered by my own 12 step Recovery that continues one day at a time.)

Too bad

2009-01-22T01:27:00.005-07:00

it is too bad that my current absence of estrogen is so omnipotent. It can withstand any pharmaceutical assault in my current arsenal. Stronger then AmbienCR it is a shame this biological firewall can not be marketed. It's insomnia reigns unscathed by any attempts to derail it's influence. Nights of non-sleep and headaches punctuated by sweats combine with violent hot flashes to render the night a tortuous wasteland stretching before me. It is too bad the extraordinary heat that hot-flashes generate can not be harnessed to provide us with power to at least charge a phone or two. imagine the possibilities of automatic power back up that could be an incredible (renewable?) energy source without the pesky side-effects fossil fuels produce. i wonder how many watts would be generated as many female baby-boomers actually lose the baby-generating and incubating ability. procreation becomes relatively impossible as the ticking clock finally explodes. I have often thought the world would certainly be a different place if these duties could be shared by men. if these hormone cycles and events were gender neutral (hmm a true conflict of that word's meaning?) I imagine there may be automatic sick time each month and then much empathy and allowances as menopause descended.

the effects of the paucity of estrogen are truly heroic. i have seen women vigorously fanning themselves and i judged them somewhat ridiculous. i have been now subjected to incredible retribution. the scalp burns as if lit on fire.this delightful and sudden incident is spontaneous and truly random. It is followed by a very fierce feeling of a flush that is amazing in it's power. Your body then tries to compensate by exploding with perspiration. It is like you become a huge extremely responsive swamp cooler. The principles of evaporative cooling are demonstrated anew as you suddenly feel the water droplets catch fresh air. First you are on fire and then feel like you are freezing. It is impossible to dress appropriately as the desire to tear your clothes off is followed by the need for expedition strength, high tech wicking undergarments. I must also mention how attractive one feels as beads of perspiration spring up on the forehead, upper lip and cleavage. This renders any makeup you may be wearing useless even if labeled waterproof.

I apologize for all the times I rolled my eyes and trivialized this occurrence in anyone in the past. I am truly sorry. I have been and continue to be duly punished! Sorry Marmie.

Tomorrow I Wish I Was in DC

2009-01-19T18:21:00.002-07:00

Today is for looking back,
Today is for learning from our past,
Today is for remembering MLK,
Today is for honoring fallen heroes.
Today is to sigh,let it go.

Tomorrow is for looking forward,
Tomorrow is for marking a day,
Tomorrow is for experiencing Barack Obama,
Tomorrow is for honoring our new President,
Tomorrow is a joy, let it show.

thanks Don Lemon @ CNN

2009-01-17T18:09:00.004-07:00

On CNN Don Lemon read my tweet from Twitter:

Thank you CNN;to be there for us,FINALLY glued to TV for a wonderful occasion!
Hopeful & Exciting;an historic President Obama!

Once it is done.

2009-01-15T01:42:00.002-07:00

Once it is done
it no longer hurts
Once it is done
it empties my heart
Once it is done
i feel the breeze
Once it is done
the sun warms me
Once it is done
i can relax

Once it is said
it is as if it wasn't
Once it is said
the worst dissapears
Once it is said
i no longer tiptoe
Once it is said
quiet silence returns
Once it is said
i can exhale

Once it is done
Once it is said
I am free

Morning Breath

2009-01-04T15:07:00.005-07:00

Morning Breath

One nice thing about your dogs, birds, and cats,
They will always run for morning hugs and pats.
You don't have to worry about morning breath,
Even if exhaling caused spouses' death.
Your mouth could smell like green, infested, pond scum,
Overlayed with a hint of last night's cheap rum,
And a note of neglected Boy's toilet bowl.
Still, your pets' affections will come without toll,
Even if your mouth could be cause for divorce.
As long as the first deed of the day of course,
Is to fill all their bowls with breakfast, post haste,
Or they will not allow your morning's embrace.
If you relieve yourself in the bathroom first,
You will be lonely and sad causing tears to burst.
As it comes quickly to your mind's detection,
Your day will have only human affection!

HAPPY(?)NEW YEAR VIDEO

2008-12-31T17:02:00.006-07:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here's hoping your 2009
proves to be much more fine
then 2008
glad it's of late
but hope in 2009 I can host
you at my site to read my posts
and you find them written with hilarity
and my resolve: to write with regularity!
love, jme

CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING AND,sad but true, new years video made by:
filmstrip international
with images from our news stories
with music from Jim's Big Ego, a song originally written for NPR for 2001:
New Lang Syne (Thank God It's Over)

http://tinyurl.com/jmedvm-vid08

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkkcJpJiEhk

just in case my tiny URL does not work

HERE'S A TOAST THAT 2009 Brings us hope
and new prosperity, and human rights, to the world

TO 2009!

I must be nuts I took so much time to leave a comment all in RHYME

2008-12-30T21:56:00.005-07:00

I was on Twitter and I had signed up to be a part of a tweettogether of Moms. The leader was the owner and founder of a chain of cleaning services across the UK. There was a post about picking or writing catchy slogans, and the blogger asked anyone with any good ideas she could use to please leave a comment... well of course instead of doing 150 things on my list... I was glad to think up a few such as:
"Leave your dust...To Us!"
and the brilliant:
"Letting us clean your grime
Gives you more precious time"
Well, once I started I could not stop,
My mind was working overtime
To churn out rhyme after rhyme
Watch them pop,
It seemed my mind was stuck in some kind of fogger
Maybe all the time recently spent reading Dragonblogger,
It was not the most well written or intellectual of my articles
Here it is though certainly inspired by my breathing millions of dust particles:
"Just a few thoughts written in haste
They may be helpful or a waste
Just stopped by from Twitter and I
Writing from Arizona I wouldn't tell a lie.
Lived in the UK, London , in the past,
That I can talk to you now, what a blast!
This amazing Internet let's me post while you're asleep in bed,
Is utterly fantastic, but so wild it messes with my head!
To bad my huge dirty house can not find a way
To be sent right to you, but that cost I could not pay,
Sigh, it's such a gross, disgusting mess,
I almost wish I was houseless,
If I told you who lives within these walls,
Despite the huge job even you'd ignore my calls.
It's quite a lot to clean up after the dirt, poop and pee,
From 5 dogs, 12 cats, my child, hubby and me!

OK, if you are still there.. leave me a comment please
I beg you help me stop this rhyming I'm on my knees!

Thoughts on The Blog and The Beautiful

2008-12-12T10:56:00.004-07:00

The peacock is so beautiful. I think he knows it too. This one was following me at the Bronx Zoo. Then a bunch of people started following him following me. It was weird. I just kept stopping to put my hand down and he would peck at it. I started doing this because I assumed he was following me because he thought that I had something to feed him and he was obviously used to seeing a human as a snack machine. So, I thought, if I put my hand down and let him peck at it and see that there was nothing in it, he would lose interest and stop following me. He followed me for a good 20 minutes across almost the entire zoo. Every few minutes I stopped, he pecked on my empty hand, and we took off again. I was embarrassed because every time we stopped someone else followed him. The zoo was not too crowded on this wintry November, donation Wed. But still, after a half an hour or so, there were about 20 assorted grown ups and kids following me. Most of them were tourists that did not speak English. I tried in pigeon (oops, Peacock?) German, Polish, French and Spanish to say "I do not have any food for him". Two boys in their tweens did speak Spanish and they smiled at me and nodded and kept following me. I wanted to take a picture of everyone following me, but I was too embarrassed. I guess the Peacock thought I was beautiful, even if I did not know how to cook.

We Love You Georgia

2008-12-09T00:01:00.003-07:00

We love you Georgia

Dear Jasper

2008-12-08T23:32:00.003-07:00

You are an angel now.

A Kittizen of Heaven.......

Do you remember your song?

Jasper, Jasper (sung to the tune of "Inchworm")

Jaspering the Jaspering,

How beautiful you are!

your person love(s)(ed)

you to all eternity.

She may feel bereft and bombarded with this life's cruelty,

Karmic reports of my own near death allowed me to see what is important.

Also the unseen in this dimension, those that wait for us. Those that share our journey close again. Love flows from now until then before and after. You are now part of the two and four-legged, side by side, waiting for us. Sweet, strong beautiful Jasper. Your antics delighted, your intelligence unnerving, your gaze over steady. Too intelligent to fit into that simple pet category, rather a true friend beyond the species limit. Love to you, Love to Georgia,Love to the later when we will all be present for each other. The love remains.

To my dear friend Georgia Ross continued

2008-12-08T23:08:00.003-07:00

So, I finally called you. Dear Georgia your phone was disconnected. I sent a positive prayer to you, and called the mobile number. You told me your house burned in a fire on Thanksgiving day and you lost your cats. You had not yet recovered from Katrina, the Hurticane. You are an artiste extraordinaire and since 1989 you have worked on each and every corner of that house. Every where you looked a beautiful composition delighted the eye; a picture just so above an antique bench and a vase on the floor; everywhere in that house, each element carefully chosen to complete the aesthetic. It all appeared casual, but it was clear to me an artist touch was everywhere, each vision like a beautiful still life; super real and whimsical just like your own paintings. And much of it now gone. You said you were putting one foot in front of the other and doing what you needed to do. I am so proud of you; honored to be your friend. You are a strong woman; maybe the strongest I know. You are resolute, firm in your faith you walk your walk and talk the talk. No Lip service; you are seeing this through with strict faith in your beliefs. I admire you.

To my dear friend Georgia Ross

2008-12-08T22:52:00.002-07:00

To my dear friend Georgia Ross,

You are my hero today. I had a nightmare about you drowning for a few nights. I was afraid to call you. I called Steve and was troubled to find out the Community Center of St Bernard was going to be closed uring the week we were coming to volunteer. I was also mystified, What were Adriana and Tom and I going to do without the option of showing up every day at the Center and just doing what needed to be done there? My mental picture of this return trip was somehow wrong. Adriana would not be able again to bring Art Supplies and have big glitter glue and Origami sessions with the kids of the Parish while their Moms or Dads applied for food stamps. I told Steve we would find another place to volunteer as there is no shortage of need. He said he had to cook at Camp Hope on the weekends, and to make sure we would be there by the 21st so we could help with his big Parish dinner and Adriana could play Santa and help hand out presents for the kids, I wondered what God had in mind for us this time.

time to commit

2008-12-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

ok today is the day I commit to writing EVERY day to get that book started because afterall, it will not get done sitting in my head. thanks to all on twitter who helped inspire me to get my proverbial (and otherwise) bum-bum as my daughter says writing, I will work on thins an hour and work on the storeies/novel an hour headache or not....thanks for all the twitterers help and inspiration jme

Perspectives on Election and Life after NYC

2008-12-04T11:28:00.005-07:00

It has been almost 2 weeks since coming home from NYC

I had the wonderful opportunity to learn the NADA(National Acupuncture Detoxification Assoc) acupuncture protocol and treat the patients for my internship at the Lincoln Recovery Center in the South Bronx. I was on the one hand so afraid to go alone daily on the subway and commit to being there at 7:30am daily, and fear that I would always regret it if I did not go. I felt just like I did when I was compelled to take Adriana, my 9 year old daughter and run away from home this summer, most noticeably to New Orleans and a 5000 mile odyssey across the country on I -10.)

The biggest and most amazing surprise about this adventure was the perspective I had on treating the clients at the LRC and the effect on my perspective from being in NYC for THE election. I am sorry for all the typos, I am in so much of a hurry because I am so afraid I will forget what I want to say....just like what drives my interrupting and feeling of desperation in conversation: defiantly a topic for a future entry especially with implications of narcissism and forgot word ?fw egotistic meaning think what I have to say is more important then listening to why is going on...and observations of mother And sisters like myself behavior lessons also in NYC)

I wore my pop art Hope button with the Andy-Warhol like image of Barack Obama in print-like red and blue on black background. This badge of political statement I only found on sale in Union Square where I took the subway every day.

Oh, sorry again for SOC ( stream of consciousness) but I also want to remember to write about poss beginning of novel and explore places to submit short stories series on way to semi auto book and what was cute term I read recently for semi-autobiographical novel. Sure would never call anything "Non Fiction" after what happened to the guy that wrote A Thousand(?) Million(?) little pieces Oops gotta go, how awful to just post an outline of what I want to say... Sorry!

NYC and cures at the JLincoln Recovery Center

2008-12-03T01:29:00.001-07:00

love

2008-10-17T03:55:00.003-07:00

I remembered a lesson I learned at my daughter's birth: Love is multiplied; not divided. Thanks J, hope you have a great time this weekend and thanks for reminding me of this. Love you 2 jmexxx

true doublethink

2008-10-17T02:50:00.002-07:00

i have noticed a really strange but true behavior pattern i can not stand. I have had some really bad confrontaions with my sister or husband or daughter. after the fight starts, instead of countering my statements and proving me wrong they attack by throwing my words back at me. if I said for example "stop talking back to me and go clean your room" to my daughter she would say "i am not talking back to you!". Or i told my sister i could not take her somewhere for sure and she said something like "tell me when you can take me or I will take a cab!" I said "it is not safe going to the store alone, stop threatening me". And she would say "i'm not threatening you! So the main point i am argueing about never even gets discussed! ( or rarely). Instead I wouldput myself on the victim role and be such an EXCELLENT martyr and allow my personal buttons to be pushed. It makes me more nuts then even I can deal with.

Another behaviour I can not stand is when someone wields that double edged sword : like a mother I saw once in a big store. she was slapping her child and saying "I TOLD YOU (slap) NOT TO HIT". Everyone in my family at times is really like this without realizing it, and in none of these criticisms am I exempt! But it is almost as I have been stereotyped as the one who interrupts , repeats myself, and yells. HELLO! My sister asked me not to lash out as some kind of pre-condition when i went to LA to help her. Then she spends a lot of the time lashing out at me. .... i know that she and other sis and brother and ME do not see their faces our hear their or our tone. It is so far removed from loving attitudes. i wish I could tape such an interaction or video it and let them watch it . The whole time I was in LA I was anxious like I was about to get yelled at or in trouble. it was quite ironic and I kept trying to talk about it. My sister was the only one in my family I could be honest and healthy with telling her my emotions and reactions honestly. This time it was like all the previous growth never happened. I am not innocent, but I sure see myself clearly now!

like alcohol to an alcoholic

2008-10-17T02:31:00.002-07:00

A true friendship is just like alcohol to the alcoholic. It dosen't matter how long it has been, you take off just where you left.

more on politics..election, opinions

2008-10-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

Am i the only one?

2008-10-17T00:29:00.002-07:00

Am i the only one who cares that Sarah Palin is so close to possibly being the president and can not handle a PRESS CONFERENCE ?
Now "Joe the Plumber" has had more press conferences then our VP candidate for the Republican party... And boy i bet now McCain wishes he had looked into joe the plumber a bit more before he redirected his campaign to make this "average American" the focus. he sounded pretty DUMB, his name is really Sam and I think he said he is not a plumber! ok I guess I should be happy because McCain must be in trouble if he makes this guy the center now of his media campaign. his more cogent statement was how he hated social security and he already has parents and does not need more parents telling him what to do (ie the government)

So why is it OK for Palin to say Obama is palling around with TERRORISTS? Ayers who is now a university president? he served on some kind of committee in Illinois to help advise what could be done for educational reforms in their state. there were Republicans on this board too, and Obama has mentioned, he was 8 years old when Ayers carried out a bombing which he served in jail for and in the years since, got a PhD and became a professor...ok a negative campaign sucks anyway, but to invoke the word "terrorist" in the same sentence as your opponent?
I am glad Obama does not rise to the occasion and get mad. i am a bit surprised that McCain looked so MEAN and angry in all those cut away shots during the debate. it was like he really had true disdain and had almost CONTEMPT for Obama . If a President can not control his temper or reign in his reactions i do not think i want him negotiating some kind of nuclear weapons showdown with Russia! Don't you need a good poker face as a President?

Rest of the story..CNN, etc Do-loops

2008-10-16T23:57:00.002-07:00

Ok, all the blogenters start with ok...maybe i can jus write without caps or quotes or even punctuation... Ok again. last post did crashafter many paragraphs just when i began to drop my guard .i never even finished the sentence about the marriage. bet you all thought i was talking about my own marriage... so you think i talk in run on sentences; checkout this blog! trying still to say I have been so impressed with the marriage of many mediums on cnn, and it is almost surreal. i find it fascinating to watch the twitter board on rick sanchez. i mean imagine people writing 150 characters or less, seeming succinct comments ( and obviously a great excersise for me!) scrolling across a huge monitor in real time ( do i detract from my impression of any intelligence with my poor spelling? and by the way if i check it, it crashes) in real time being televised and discussed on television by rick sanchez! it is truly mind blowing and another thing that my mind goes into an infinite do-loop( ahh memories of Basic!) . the telivising of the television ... it reminds me of a cereal box i we had when I was a kid: a box with a picture of a kid on the box sitting at a table eating the cereal with a box of the cereal on the table with a picture of a kid on the box sitting at a table eating the cereal ... well you get the message and finally I have used the dot dot dot properly. i used to sit and stare at the box trying to imagine how many pictures of the box on a box my mind could think of at one time. ok my mind is susceptible to weird do-loops. that is by the way and endless circle of a command from Basic that tells a program to do something and return to the beginning of the task and do it again, and again, and again....like watching rick sanchez on television watch a television posting commend while he sometimes types too... A successful marriage of technologies. a reporter or rather now, a journalist must do more things at once to get our attention and keep it. i guess maybe the average veiwer on CNN is talking on a cell phone by Bluetooth while watching rick sanchez on CNN and typing at the same time on a notebook computer which is on the Internet on the same twitter page that to k sanchez is on being televised on the television ... And then what happens when rick sanchez then televises the comment made by the person watching on television while he posts.... Ok will post so not lost ( why do you say poooost and lost? It should rhyme...)

on the election...twitter ....CNN

2008-10-16T23:23:00.003-07:00

Ok so here we go, need to daily write, how can I be a writer if I do not write? How can I have a beautiful bicycle sitting there that I saved money for for a LONG time...and not ride. Here in the desert no longer at 100 degrees and STOL my bum- bum as my daughter says is in bed all day today; and not having fun either..sick to my stomach etc etc... I have tried really hard to stay off the ever never ending topic of headaches and health, or lack of it... Will try.. Or as Yoda says... How come all my sentences contain ALL CAPITAL WORDS. And lots.... And lots of ........ Dot dot dots? What are these called? Miss S you may know. Thank you with all my heart you are my FIRST comment, definantly you warm my heart and for a hangs that is not sarcastic,, NOT sarcastic.

I love CNN and can not seem to get over the marrying or marriage of, sorry my spelling is so shitty... SSS to coin a phrase Spelling So Shitty... Maybe my words will make up for my spelling. I do not know weather wheather? Wether? I love or hate this predictive text system on the iPhone etc. I know it is supposed to help type quickly but it is definantly for me a true circular arguement thing. See, it learns the frequency that one uses on the device. Great huh? Not so if , like me, you have certain words you just DO NOT (here we go again with the parentheses) you MISspell some words consistently !! It will learn the wrong spelling and begin to suggest it! I am going to post this because this keeps crashing and I do not want to lose this potentially award winning blogging....ha ha ( read with sarcastic. Tone)

win a few post a few

2008-10-02T20:28:00.002-07:00

ok i made 2 posts from my iphone and after the new 2.1 software it is still crashing, goes back to main menu from safari and obliterates the post or whatver you are working on but i am going to try to train dictate and then...well dicate. Miss S my wonderful friend from the Community Center of St Bernard found my blog and their is nothing on it yet!!!! Wow that really made me smile, one reader is a reader! Ok Miss S I will try to write of my thoughts and adventures of daily living to give you something to read, thats the goal, and you can tell me what you think too....long as it is with respect i do not care if you agree or not with me but just do not confuse agreement with understanding or liking with agreement. ok soon more...promise. Hey Miss S shuld I put a better picture of my face? This feels like me though, what about the sunset vs the face with cat? cuz that kind of expresses me too.

in the beginning

2008-09-20T17:50:00.002-07:00

wow. about time i put aside the torn notes that never get too far to begin the daily thoughts and musings... Started with twitted now blogspot learn as we go ...